What is the Biblical responsibility of a wife?

This question is coming at a time when God is visiting homes for revival.

If revival must start in a place, God will look for an individual to use. God is interested to use homes to bring forth His glory upon the earth. Since marriage is the coming together of a man a woman of the faith like faith to live together according to the vows they have exchanged till death do them part. It is also a place when God will use his people at this end time to bring forth his glory. Each of the parties have peculiar roles to play.

The biblical responsibility of a man undoubtedly is quite different from that of a woman. At the end of the day, the two of them will work cooperatively to bring to bear upon the home God has given them God’s divine counsel.

When the Almighty God started His program with mankind, he started using a home. The home of Adam and Eve was put in place. It is sad however that the union, a holy wedlock was shattered by the devil because one of them was deceived by the serpent.

The first biblical responsibility of a wife therefore is that she should be sensitive to know the devices of the devil. In Gen. 3:1-6. The devil deceived Eve headlong to the extent that even when she wanted to resist, she could not. On the long run, it was not only Eve that was deceived, Adam was also lure into it.

Let me mention that women have great influence. From my survey as a marriage counselor I have discovered that influence is greater than power.

The power God gave to Adam to be the head of the family could not help him in this case. When the serpent visited the home, Eve was found powerless to resist the devil. Instead of being the only victim of the temptation, Adam was also lured (influenced) to take of the forbidden fruit.

Can we say that Eve was not knowledgeable? Maybe not. The knowledge she had was not put into place. She knew that God said that it was not expedient for them to eat the fruit. She was covetous. Covetousness is a sin. She knew what was right. Biblically, a wife should be contented with whatever she has. It is important that Christian wives must be contented.

She should also be able to discern what the devil would like to achieve through any ministration. You cannot discern without an understanding of what God is saying through His Word. She had the Word but did not do it.

James 1:22-25 says “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and immediately forgets what he looks like. But a man who looks intently into the perfect law that give freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does” Eve was not blessed. She was cursed because she did not do the Word. It is important for a wife to know that it is a responsibility for her to do the Word of God. Is my action in conformity with God’s Word should be the question over any matter.

Eve was a great instrument in the program of God for her family. Women must understand from time-to-time that without them the home cannot move. They must equip themselves in the Holy Ghost and dismiss what the devil may be suggesting either in the physical, social, economic and spiritual lives of their homes. The responsibility of a wife, therefore is to constantly check from the Word of God how she should react on any situation.

It is important not only to be born again to enjoy a peaceful home but one should endeavour to know the Word. Find answer to questions like money management, possession, sexual relationship, child upbringing, (parenting).

A woman should also endeavour to dictate the pace that the home would run through prayers. However, it must be appreciated that God will not hearken to the prayer of an unbeliever. Proverbs 28:9 “If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even his prayers are detestable.”

The program of God was faulted using Eve who compromise the standard of God for her home. Biblically, you must not compromise God’s holy standard for your home. The home started well but ended up in a curse from God.

Help-meet. In Genesis Chapter 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”. A know her role in the home. She is a helper suitable for her husband. God’s intention of bringing a man and a woman to the earth is to glorify His name in the midst of the heathen. To show forth God’s glory in the land of the living. If a woman fails to realize this point, she cannot be a helper indeed.

Going through the book of Proverbs 31:10-31 we see the epilogue of a wife who has noble character. I want to bring out the following responsibility from the above passage for our blessing:

. She must possess the Christian attributes.

. She must be a woman that is worth it. You cannot have worth without Jesus Christ being your saviour as a wife in the home. It is only Jesus that causes a woman to be worthy.

. She must be a woman that a man should place confidence in. It is only Jesus value that can last. Ideologies, psychology, philosophy and the like may fail. Jesus power in the life of woman is the only thing that cannot fail. The value placed upon a woman by the Lord will last forever.

. She must be hardworking and be a good homemaker.

. She must be a good manager of the affair of her home.

. She must bring up her children in collaboration with her husband in the way of the Lord. She must be not deceptive or love a child more than the other – See Genesis 27 – The case of Isaac and Rebecca. The plan of God for Jacob was delayed because of deception, which was approved of by Rebecca for Jacob.

. She must be receptive to visitors and relate well with her in-laws.

. She must the keeper of her home.

. Absolute love must be released to the man.

. She must be a woman of vision.

. She must complement her vision with hard work and honesty.

. Don’t compare your home with another

. Always be proud of your husband

. Appreciate your husband everyday

. Forgive your husband and endeavour to forget it

. Do not defraud yourself of sexual relationship except when fasting and after fasting come together again – I Cor. 7:5

Let me conclude that the list of roles or responsibility of a wife is not exhaustive herein. It is important that when choosing a woman that would go to heaven with a man, the man should not marry an unbeliever. 2 Corinthian 6:14-18 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among the, and I will be their God, and they will be my people” Amos 3:3 says, ” Do two walk together unless they’ve agreed to do so? People who come together as husband and wife must be people of common (like faith). If your spouse is not converted, trust God for his/her salvation. God will do it.

If you are not married, you should know that before you can enjoy the biblical responsibility of a wife, you need to give your life to Jesus. If, however, you are already in marriage and you want your home to be heaven on earth, then you need to give you life to Jesus. Jesus can make all your crooked ways straight.

Blessings!

Rev Debo Adeyemo

_____________________

Let us answer these questions through a series of questions whose answer will be found in the Holy Scriptures.

1. What is the description of a good wife?

Proverbs 31:10-29:

“If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. . . .She is energetic, a hard worker, and watches for bargains. She works far into the night! She sews for the poor, and generously gives to the needy. . .She is a woman of strength and dignity, and has no fear of old age. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says. She watches carefully all that goes on throughout her household, and is never lazy. Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words; ‘There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!”

2. How should the wife relate to her husband?

Ephesians 5:22-24:

“You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of His body the church. (He gave His very life to take care of it and be its Saviour!) So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything, just as the church obeys Christ.”

I Peter 3:1-5:

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”

3. Does that mean the wife must do all the “give and take”?

No! Marriage requires submission by both partners.

Ephesians 5:21:. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Rob Chaffart

________________

This is a great question but it is a bit hard to examine without also looking at the duties of husbands to their wives as these duties are interdependent. Please forgive me if I also lay some responsibilities on husbands. Here we have the origin of the ‘wife’.

Genesis 2:18-AV And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Genesis 2:21-AV And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

Genesis 2:22-AV And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Genesis 2:23-AV And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Genesis 2:24-AV Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

By this it is not meant that a man shall forget his parents but that he should branch out and make a home for himself and his wife. This makes a lot of sense too, ever try living with your wife in your parents house? We did once for about 12 months because of a personal housing crisis, we would not repeat it. I believe the becoming one flesh has three aspects. Firstly, the union of marriage as ordained by God provides for a union in a spiritual sense as well as a physical one. Secondly, the physical union produces children which are half mother and half father, truly one flesh. Thirdly, we grow together with our partners until we even think alike. A couple with a good marriage, which was intended, progressively become more and more alike as the years go by. Even facial expressions and mannerisms become similar so that because the same muscles are being exercised by both partners, they often develop a similarity in appearance.

Women were to be ‘in subjection to their husbands’. This can easily buy one an argument these days but if you don’t like what God has said in His word, go and argue it with Him, and when you have gotten Him to change His mind, come and tell me. Husbands were to love and cherish their wives in the same way God loved and cherished the church, even so much as to willingly give their lives for them as God in the form of Jesus did for the church.

Genesis 3:16-AV Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

I understand the meaning of this verse to be that prior to this Eve did not conceive often and childbirth was painless. We know why it hurts, it is the involuntary contraction of the muscles. All attempts by man to alleviate this suffering so far have had bad consequences, e.g. Thalidomide. Her desire was to be to her husband. That is she would find it difficult to resist him sexually. And he would rule over her.

1Corinthians 11:3-AV But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.

1Corinthians 14:34-AV Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but [they are commanded] to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

Ephesians 5:22-AV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

1Timothy 2:11-AV Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

1Peter 3:1-AV Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

1Peter 3:2-AV While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear.

1Peter 3:5-AV For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

1Peter 3:6-AV Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

A whole book of the bible has been devoted to showing an example of how husbands should behave towards their wives as God behaves towards the church. Read the book of Hosea sometime. Hosea was required by God to marry a prostitute. Every time she was unfaithful he had to go to her and win her back. Hosea is a symbol of God and his wife is a symbol of the church which goes from one deed of unfaithfulness to the next.

Another aspect of a wife is sexual.

Proverbs 5:18-AV Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Proverbs 5:19-AV [Let her be as] the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Hebrews 13:4-AV Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

1Corinthians 7:4-AV The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

1Corinthians 7:5-AV Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Here we have God’s approval to ‘go for it’ within marriage. It is also pointed out by Paul that husbands and wives have the right to expect sexual fulfilment of each other whenever desired. (Please, not in public) They are not to defraud one another. Women should not suddenly develop a headache or offer some other excuse unless it is genuine. Men who love and cherish their wives would not force themselves on them if they were ill. We need cooperation and mutual respect here.

We are provided with a list of things one can expect from a ‘good woman’. I doubt that any woman who ever lived had all these attributes, because none were perfect. But it is not a bad target.

Proverbs 31:10-AV Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:11-AV The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

Proverbs 31:12-AV She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:13-AV She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Proverbs 31:14-AV She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

Proverbs 31:15-AV She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

Proverbs 31:16-AV She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

Proverbs 31:17-AV She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

Proverbs 31:18-AV She perceiveth that her merchandise [is] good: her candle goeth not out by night.

Proverbs 31:19-AV She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

Proverbs 31:20-AV She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Proverbs 31:21-AV She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household [are] clothed with scarlet.

Proverbs 31:22-AV She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing [is] silk and purple.

Proverbs 31:23-AV Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:24-AV She maketh fine linen, and selleth [it]; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Proverbs 31:25-AV Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Proverbs 31:26-AV She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:27-AV She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:28-AV Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.

Proverbs 31:29-AV Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

Proverbs 31:30-AV Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:31-AV Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

What we have examined in this study is the ideal. It can only be achieved in a household where the law of God is held in respect by both partners. This is frequently not the case. Also it is likely in today’s society that even ‘though a woman may want to follow the traditional lifestyle she may not be able to because of financial difficulties, invalid husbands, lazy husbands, no husbands, or no belief in God within the family. Also those men who were called ‘lord’ by their wives in biblical times were MEN, not wimps. That women would one day take the lead in society has been predicted.

Isaiah 3:12-AV [As for] my people, children [are] their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause [thee] to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.

Because of what is happening in today’s society, many believe this verse to be prophetic. Even Gill mentioned it as an option and he wrote in the 16th century when women were still ‘in their place’. See the last phrase of this section of his commentary.

and women rule over them, or “over him” {o}; either over the people of Israel, as Alexandra before Hyrcanus, and Helena queen of the Adiabenes; or over the child their governor, as women had great influence over their husbands, the governors of Judea, in those times, as Herodias, Bernice, and Drusilla; or it may be understood of men, weak, effeminate, and given to pleasure:

In order for a woman to fulfill her biblical obligations, she needs a husband willing and able to fulfill his. If this is not the case then ‘women ruling over them’, meaning men, will be the natural result. A man who cannot earn the respect of his wife for reasons within his own control, is not likely to have God’s support in the matter. As for speaking in church or ordination of women, that is another topic on the list which will be dealt with in due course. Stay tuned etc…

May God bless all readers with increased understanding of His word.

Lance Wearmouth

________________

The biblical responsibility of a wife is to emotionally support and nurture her husband. To stand by him and be his companion. To be his helpmate. To bear his children and care for them…………..Too much of so called “Women’s Liberation” in the 70’s took so much of this away. That is when divorces became second nature and the family unit faltered. Children are raising themselves, hence the violence and suicide among the young.

May God Be With You,

DeeDee