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What Does the Bible Say About … SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE?

What does the Bible say about having sex before marriage?


Since human life alone existed in God’s image, none of the other creatures could share this life in any satisfying way. God therefore gave Adam his companion. The man and the woman were equal in status as being made in God’s image – Gen. 1:27. And were harmoniously united, to the exclusion of all others (En 1:18-25). The woman was later given the name Eve, meaning ‘life’ or ‘living’ because she was the one through whom future human life would come (See Gen. 3:20).

The above is the plan of God for man. But man corrupted himself as a result of sin. Through one man since came to the world. The Bible says that that the wages of sin is death and the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus.


The Law of Moses clearly spells out God’s designs for sexual expression. The restrictions he placed on sexual expression protect the purity of that design.

God has set boundaries on sexual expression because of his holiness and as a means of protecting us from physical and emotional harm. By living within the borders of sexual purity, we can experience this wonderful gift from God as he intended.

Sex before marriage is a sin.

Hebrews 13:4: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Marriage is honorable in all and bed undefiled but, whoremonkers and adulterers, God will judge. If the judge of this world sentences a man to imprisonment over a crime, you know what that means. God is warning from His Word now that if you do not keep your marriage bed pure, you are under judgment. If God judges you, who will deliver you from His hands? Granted that you might even marry that lady, which does not give you the guarantee to have sexual relationship before marriage. It ruins your testimonies before others. It is against the will and plan of God for your life. God honors marriage too highly.

If you will keep it pure, you will reap the honour that is attached to marriage. If you do not heed what the Bible is saying here, you are condemned already because you have refused to heed what the Lord is saying.


1 Cor. 6:12-20: “Everything is permissible for me” – but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me” but I will not be mastered by anything. “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food” – but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh”. But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from god? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your body.”

The above scripture is simple enough for the wise to understand. It is true that some people are practicing this sin. But why must you join the queu? Are you born again? If you are born again, you are committing sins against yourself and against God if you are having sex before marriage. Even sex outside marriage carries the same punishment as we have read from the above passage.


Let me mention that the sin of immorality may seem secret to some. However, God does not hide himself from His servants. There was an invitation given to me to preach at a wedding ceremony. The couple-to-be was expecting that I was coming. The Lord told me that they had defiled the bed. I told my wife that I was not going to honour the invitation. She did not like it initially because the wedding was just a day before God revealed it to me that they had defiled the bed. 

When I told her the reason why I was not going she was pleased. She loves holiness and purity. After all we kept the scriptures during our period of dating. When the parties came to remind me a day before the wedding, I told them what the Lord revealed to me while I was praying about their programs. The brother lamented and said “So God traced us to this place”. I did not minister at that wedding. God would have punished me together with them if I did. There was no sign of remorse in them. They were not repentant. I urged them to tell the minister that was to join their sins if they wanted to prosper. You might say that I am harsh. It is not so. The scripture enjoins us to confess our sins one to another in the book of James 5. They did not. Whom have they deceived?

Even if they become the best evangelists in the world in the future; can they preach in that area?. That is one of the reasons why some people specialize in preaching a particular area of the bible at the expense of the total Gospel. If you are committing this sin, you must repent today before it is too late for you tomorrow may be too late.

Proverbs 20:30 “The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.” Remember, that “God is not mocked, whatever a man sows that he will also reap – Gal. 6:7 KJV

Don’t cover your sins. The scripture has a standard. Proverbs 28:13 says that “he who covers his sins shall not prosper but as many as confess and forsakes them shall have mercy”. There is mercy today. For this questionnaire and as many are reading this message, repent from sexual immorality. There is a lamp of the LORD that is searching your spirit.

Have you given your spirit man to be seared? This should not be. You must repent today and ask God to forgive you. He will and you will become forgiven and free from condemnation. There is an abundant grace available for you. Remember that others may indulge in such immorality but you cannot. You are bought with a price!

I John 2:1-2 “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if any body does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world”.

This provision is for believers and should not allow believers to indulge in sins. It is not a license for believers to give themselves to sins.


“What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! Or how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life” – Roman 6:1-4

If you have not given your life to Christ you must do so today. Tomorrow may be too late. Sin is a thing that may seem natural to you. But if you will repent today, God will forgive you. If you have found yourselves in this menace, God’s abundant grace is available for your.

I know of a party to be wedded in one of the churches in Africa. The minister asked them before joining them whether they had sexual immorality together before coming to the altar. They said no. Suddenly, there was a gush of blood that stained the wedding gown of the sister. This was an embarrassment. But the God that exposed Ananias and Sapphira is still around. (See Act 5:1-11). Guess what happened at that church. Your guess is as good as mine! Your sins will find you out. God has revealed many immoralities in the lives of believers to me and it was just for them to come back to Him. Some have and some still prefer to stir the middle course. You must be holy during your dating.


Ephesians 6: 10-17 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the power of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, do stand, Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrow of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and request. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Take a stand today!. Be on the Lord’s side!. You cannot stir the middle course. You must be born again!. The Spirit of the Lord says come. Decide to follow Jesus today. Tomorrow may be too late.

God bless you!

Rev Debo Adeyemo


Dear brother / sister in Christ,

I thank God for each of you. I’ve been receiving mails form you time and again. it has answered so many important questions which come up in our daily lives .

As for the question of having sex before marriage. I feel that that the bible is not at all in favour of this (although I’m not in a position to quote verses from the same ). In fact, it’s the final step in a marriage. The marriage has to be legal 1st, and gradually as both start spending more time with each other, they start understanding each other and thereby love grows. Sex is the final act of love…which unites two bodies…thereby strengthening the bond b/w the two.



Basically, this was a practice fraught with danger in biblical times. It was expected that the Children of God would remain chaste until married. Some quite severe penalties were put in place for those who disregarded these laws. Let us examine some of them.

The word translated as ‘whore’ in the Old Testament, means a woman who commits fornication and anything worse. In other words, not a virgin without a legal excuse.

02181 zanah {zaw-naw’} a primitive root [highly-fed and therefore wanton]; TWOT – 563; v AV – …harlot 36, go a whoring 19, …whoredom 15, whore 11, commit fornication 3, whorish 3, harlot + 0802 2, commit 1, continually 1, great 1, whore’s + 0802 1; 93

1) to commit fornication, be a harlot, play the harlot 1a) (Qal) 1a1) to be a harlot, act as a harlot, commit fornication 1a2) to commit adultery 1a3) to be a cult prostitute 1a4) to be unfaithful (to God) (fig.) 1b) (Pual) to play the harlot 1c) (Hiphil) 1c1) to cause to commit adultery 1c2) to force into prostitution 1c3) to commit fornication 4202 porneia {por-ni’-ah} from 4203; TDNT – 6:579,918; n f AV – fornication 26; 26

1) illicit sexual intercourse 1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc. 1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18

2) metaph. the worship of idols 2a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

It is the sex before marriage definition of fornication we are looking at in this study. The other items mentioned above also carried penalties. Homosexualism, idolatry, bestiality, adultery, and incest all carried the death penalty.

Women found not to be virgins were put to death in those days. Deuteronomy 22:13-AV If any man takes a wife, and goes in unto her, and hates her,

Deuteronomy 22:14-AV And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

Deuteronomy 22:15-AV Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth [the tokens of] the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:

Deuteronomy 22:16-AV And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;

Deuteronomy 22:17-AV And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech [against her], saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these [are the tokens of] my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.

Deuteronomy 22:18-AV And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;

Deuteronomy 22:19-AV And they shall amerce him in an hundred [shekels] of silver, and give [them] unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.

Deuteronomy 22:20-AV But if this thing be true, [and the tokens of] virginity be not found for the damsel:

Deuteronomy 22:21-AV Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

If a girl was found by her husband on the wedding night, to be not a virgin, he could complain about it and she would be stoned to death.

Leviticus 21:9-AV And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.

If the girl was the daughter of a priest, it was burning alive she was looking at. Quite a deterrent I would think. These matters all involve deception on the part of the girl to cover up what had happened. However if a couple were caught, they were merely required to marry with no future option of divorce.

Deuteronomy 22:28-AV If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;

Deuteronomy 22:29-AV Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Now all this may seem a little unfair to the girl. I guess it was easy to tell if a girl was a virgin or not but rather hard with a man. A man carried no evidence around with him. However, a man could get himself in trouble too. If the man had sex with a married woman, the matter was adultery and both were to be killed. Another form of sex before marriage was rape. In such a case the man was killed and no penalty placed upon the girl.

Deuteronomy 22:22-AV If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, [both] the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.

Deuteronomy 22:25-AV But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die:

So much for the law. In summary then, sex before marriage meant marriage forced upon the couple if caught. If not caught, the man got away with it but the girl carried the evidence that she was no longer a virgin and that could lead to her death if any complaints were made about her. You may recall from the story of Jesus that when Joseph found out Mary was with child, he proposed to divorce her secretly. That is, he was not going to make an issue out of it sufficient to get Mary killed. However an angel told Joseph the truth and the marriage took place.

Fornication is denounced throughout the New Testament.

Acts 15:20-AV But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and [from] fornication, and [from] things strangled, and [from] blood.

Romans 1:29-AV Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

1Corinthians 6:18-AV Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1Corinthians 7:2-AV Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1Thessalonians 4:3-AV For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication

The bible record is quite clear. Sex before marriage (fornication) is a sin. Anyone who has behaved in this manner will need to clear the matter by asking forgiveness for the sin, along with any other sins they have committed in order to put on the cloak of righteousness offered by the shed blood of Jesus. I know that because of our lax civil laws and the degeneration of our society, few people make it to their wedding night as virgins. Yet this is clearly what God intended us to do. All parents teaching children should make them aware of the attitude of God towards this sin. Teach them how to avoid temptation in their relationships. And above all, teach them how to obtain the forgiveness offered by the Lord Jesus Christ, when sin is committed.

Lance Wearmouth


The Bible talks about lovers in the section of the Bible called “songs of Solomon” I believe really wouldn’t condone it yet who I am going to judge. “Judge not so that your Father in heaven will not judge you.

Dave Schiefele 


Above all I have learned that our GOD is a GOD of ORDER. God simply placed the order of things. Marriage first. I want to be in his perfect will, so I abide by his ways, & make them my ways. And the mighty power to do His ways…He graciously, supplies.

Serving Him,



God says in the bible that having sex before marriage is bad for ya and hurts ya and God doesn’t like His kids getting hurt:)

Paul Julian