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lighthouse (Peggy's Cove, east coast Canada).
What Does the Bible Say About … HOW THE MARRIAGE VOWS ARE SAID?

Can someone say their vows to one another and ask God to be their witness? Will that be justified as marriage in God’s eyes?

I appreciate this question. I can also hear a silent voice from the questionnaire. I hope you have not camped someone secretly without parental consent; dowry paid and assumes that lady as your wife? If you have; you need to do things right as you go through this small piece of counsel, which I believe will guide. Our God is a God of order. He is also God of righteousness. Anything is that not right is unrighteous and the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Marriage is God’s ordinance and should be well handled by His children. God started marriage and expected something great from it. In Genesis chapter 2:20-25 God’s framework of marriage was seen here. Because the couple involved did not obey the voice of the Lord, their destiny was ruined as a result of disobedience. God intended to work with Adam and Eve as the first couple.

Nevertheless after the fall, God still continued with human race and never erased marriage as part of his program with humans on the earth. You will discover that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob married people from their race and it was well with them. Believers are expected to be equally yoked – II Cor. 6:14-18.


Gen. 28:6-9

“Now Esau learned that Isaac had blessed Jacob and had sent him to Paddan Aram to take a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he commanded him. “Do not marry a Canaanite woman, and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and had gone to Paddan Aram. Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac; so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaoith and daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, in addition to the wives he already had.”

Notice here that we are not encouraging polygamy. It was the custom in the Old Testament. It is not so now. The emphasis in this case is that the parents were involved. Parental counsel, especially godly parents in choosing is desirable for Christians. Pastoral counsel is also desirable because your pastor will give account over your soul – Hebrews 13:7. Although some of us claim to have the Holy Spirit as guidance, but you should also remember that you are under an authority of human beings whom God had made shepherds over your life and you must respect their godly counsel to you on issues that has to do with your life and destiny especially marriage.


Exchanging vows secretly is not of God. If marriage were to be a cult Jesus, his parents, his disciples would not have been in Marriage at Cana of Galilee. The Bible says Jesus was there as a guest and he performed a miracle. Go through the account in John 2:1-11. You discover what happened when Jesus was in that marriage. He was invited and was there physically with his mother and his disciples. Notice the miracle that happened. Water turned to wine. Shame turned to honor! What a blessing to involve the Lord Jesus in all that you do.

You should involve your parents, your pastor, friends, and church members to share in exchange of vows between you and the person you want to marry. After all, is it not a joyful thing to be married?


Hebrews `13:4

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”.

My friend, do not because of sin remove others from knowing about your vows in marriage. It is not godly. You receive a lot of blessings when you exchange your vows before godly men in a church. Members of the same faith would be obligated to you in prayers for success in your marriage.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you!

“Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic acts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices false-hood”.

Are you born again?

It is an important question you must answer sincerely. This will guide you in life and your marriage here and hereafter!.

God bless you.

Rev Debo Adeyemo


At the heart of this question is, “What is the value of the marriage ceremony?”

In the beginning God created Adam, and from His side, God created Eve whom he brought to Adam to be his wife (Genesis 2:22-25). As to whether, or not, there was any sort of ceremony marking this, the Bible doesn’t say, however, it does say that Eve was Adam’s wife (Genesis 2:24, 3:8,17, 20, 21; 4:1).

We see from Biblical times that there was a ceremony which marked one’s marriage for all are aware of the event which took place in Cana in Galilee when Jesus turned water to wine at a wedding feast (John 2:1-3). Just as Christian baptism symbolizes what has taken place in the life of the one being baptized (that they have moved from the camp of unbelievers to the camp of believers) the same is true when one is married. The marriage ceremony is a public testimony that the two who are being married have moved from a life of being single to a life of commitment to one another, as husband and wife, in the bonds of marriage; it’s a testimony to the world. It’s also important to remember that it is God who has instituted governmental authority within civilized society and we are to obey the governing authorities (Romans 13:1). Civil government has set forth certain requirements for marriage between a man and a woman and we are to abide by them.

Jim Futral  (Answers to questions from a Biblical perspective)


Not in the Christian faith. Christians are given Scripture by which our lives are meant to be lived. Marriage, a sacred sacrament, is a commitment for life, and there are boundaries.


No. It is God’s wish for us to be brought together in front of a Man of the Cloth. A Minister or Priest. One cannot do it by themselves and be married. They do not have that authority. The Lord gave that authority to Ministers/Priests/Pastors. Of course, we must have the Lord as our witness in our spirits and souls and hearts because any claim for independence from the divine intention for marriage is simply wrong! Marriage is not an arrangement made between two individuals in isolation from God and other humans beings. A biblical marriage takes place with the gathering of others in order to to show the element of mutual responsibility in the relationship. Originally, Adam and Eve were united in the presence of God Himself. Since then the union of two persons in matrimony has been a community event (John 2:1). Trying to marry without the blessing of the Lord and the formal approval of the community in the presence of a Man of the Cloth is nothing more than ‘living together.’ Therefore it is a relationship for the immediate present with no regard or concern for the future of it.

Love DeeDee


No, I feel that you need to have a public ceremony.. It is a pledge of faith just as you go up front of a group to inform everyone that you have received Jesus as your personal savior and you will stand on those words. Thanks for your great web site.