Are all marriages from God? I know that in Africa people can make another person (they fancy) to marry them by using love portions. What is the biblical position of such marriages? Can if you realized that you have been tricked into entering such a union be able to get away (divorce). Is divorce justifiable? Is it acceptable in God’s eyes to pray for your sibling, friend or child trapped in such marriages to get out of them?
Response: Hebrews 13:4 says: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure; for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
Not all marriages are from God. In the world today, we have various ways by which men and women contact themselves in marriage. The following are some of the ways:
In the Lord (Marriage between believers)
In the World (Marriage between unbelievers)
To answer this question very well, I will like to direct you to the origin of marriage as ordained by God in the beginning.
Gen 2:20b-25 “But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God cause the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. For this reasons a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
From the above passage we can see God in the union. Adam gave a testimony that Eve was taken out of him. It was a spiritual surgery that God performed inside Adam to bring out Eve. This is a marriage that has the hand of the Lord.
In the territorial and contemporary churches today, we discover that people don’t have time to pray for the will of God again. While it is true that what happened to Adam may not necessary be the thing that will happen to any one looking for a future partner today, we still believe that God can lead. He can guide us by His Spirit when we have reach a marriageable age and are looking unto God for a partner that is God’s perfect will.
Psalm 37:4-5 “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart.
Commit your ways to the Lord, trust also in him and he will do this.
We discover that today people are not interested in committing their ways unto the Lord. They care less who rules their lives for them. It is important that the Lord Jesus be invited into our lives so that he can take care of those things that concern us including our marriage lives. I tell people during messages and retreats and convention gatherings that the horrible mistake a person can make in life that may not be redeemable is to marry someone who is not in the will of God. It is important to seek the face of the Lord in prayer and be convinced of the person you want to marry. Both parties should do this only in the Lord – when they would have been born again. God wants a suitable person for us.
Malachi 2:15-16 “Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in yourself in your Spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel, and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself f in your spirit and do not break faith.
Like I have said above God is the author of marriage. He instituted it and he doesn’t any anyone to toil (play) with a relationship that has his signature. No wonder he said the union is an honorable one – Hebrews 13:4.
From the above background, there is no special bible for the African continent. We have only one authentic bible as our guide. The same rule that binds people in the West is the same that binds people in the African continent. Jesus Christ died for both the Jews and the Gentiles.
In the African setting, people marry more than one wife simply because of covetousness and the heart of adultery in them. If you find yourself to be the second wife having been tricked into it and you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and you want to make peace, you are free to restitute by leaving that husband who tricked you into the relationship and made you to be the second or third wife. This is common in Africa. I have had occasions to counsel some of our brothers and sisters who have found themselves in this type of situation. Once they get born again and the truth of the Gospel is revealed to them, they have been directed to do what the bible recommends. The bible says “Therefore shall a man leave his mother and his father and cleave unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh” – Gen. 2:24 KJV
In situations like that it is not divorce, it is quitting where you have been an intruder and looking unto God for a right partner when you would have prayed to God. I have also seen restituted wife getting rightly married in Africa. Why must you be the second wife in the house of someone who has a wife already? It is not God’s will. When you leave, you are doing what the bible says. You should not be an intruder.
In the African setting it may not be too easy for you to go away with your children. As a wife, the man has direct control over the children of the marriage. Except a customary court so direct, you as a woman leaving the home of a man that has tricked you into relationship cannot take custody of the children of your marriage. Children belong to the man in Africa.
It is not a crime to pray that those who have been tricked into ungodly marriage should be prayed for so that their eyes can be opened to see the light. The light is Jesus Christ. Getting out without the Lord as their personal Savior and Lord is going from frying pan to fire. If you realize that you are the only one born again in the family and the man has not other wife, you should pray that the Lord should open the eyes of your spouse so that He also can see the light. Seeking divorce is not the solution. After all we are saved by grace. The grace that save you; with your prayers can save your husband too. The Christ like-character you live at will go a long way to preach to your spouse so that he too can be save. I know of a sister who got born again before her husband. She was really humiliated and abused. She was always being beaten after the husband would have taken much of alcohol. That woman would collect the vomits of the husband after every day’s drinking outreach with tears of prayers on her eyes. Because she labored in prayers, the man became born again. He is now an ordained preacher of the Gospel.
On realizing that you have been lured (tricked) into relationship that is ungodly and having understood what the Bible says, you should seek the face of the Lord and ask him to set you free from the clutches of the devil.
If you have married a person who perhaps is not born again yet, you should continue to pray that salvation would come to your home. God does not allow divorce in this case. He hates divorce. He does not condone it at all.
There is a testimony of a sister who was counseled to be patient before getting married. She was told to pray more so that she can be sure that the person to married is truly born again and that he is the will of God for her life. She was in a hurry to get married. Unfortunately, the “so called brother” he married was not a believer. After the solemnization of the holy wedlock she met the worse surprise of her life in the even of the wedding. She saw in the matrimonial home a group of Muslim leaders who insisted that she must be wedded in the Muslim way again. She located the house of the pastor who joined them that day in the mid-night. She wanted the pastor to divorce them. But the pastor replied: “What God hath joined together let no man put asunder…”
You are warned! You should be on the Lord’s side. Be born again today so that eternity can be guaranteed you and your have peace in your life as well as your home!.
God bless you!
Rev Debo Adeyemo
The institute of marriage was created by God. However, apart from Adam and Eve, so far as I know, God has not chosen our partners, we have. Or our parents have depending on our culture. Having created the institute of marriage, God supports marriages. While divorce is permitted because of the hardness of our hearts, our first option is supposed to be working out our problems.
2Corinthians 6:14-AV Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
We are told to not marry unbelievers in the first place. I don’t know to what extent witchcraft is able to ‘force’ someone to marry as stated in the question. It is my understanding that evil spirits are not able to act on anyone who has the protection of the Holy Spirit. I expect it could be done to people who were not saved, and if they later became saved, would find themselves in an uneven marriage. There is precedent for divorce being a solution in such cases.
Ezra 10:10-AV And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel.
Ezra 10:11-AV Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives.
More than 100 couples were divorced in Ezra 10. The basis for all these divorces was that Jews had married non-Jews. This biblical example makes marriage to a non-believer a legitimate basis for divorce.
1Corinthians 7:12-AV But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Corinthians 7:13-AV And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Corinthians 7:14-AV For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Corinthians 7:15-AV But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace.
1Corinthians 7:16-AV For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?
In these verses Paul counseled staying together if they were pleased to do so in the hope that the believing spouse would convert the unbelieving spouse. However if the unbelieving spouse departed then it was ok to let them go. The reference to children being unclean has nothing to do with the spiritual state of children, Paul was speaking of the civil legitimacy of children in those days who were in single parent families.
Now in answer to the question, taking the example of Ezra 10, it is ok to divorce a spouse who is an unbeliever if staying in the marriage is detrimental to the spiritual cleanliness. In this context it would be acceptable to seek assistance in prayer for the dissolution of such a marriage. From the example in 1Corinthians, it is ok to divorce in such circumstances and is also ok if the couple want to stay together.
As with all divorce situations, there is not requirement of God that people divorce, but if they think they should, or need to, then they may. Sufficient to say that the bible gives several reasons for divorce and that when all advice is rendered down, it is a decision to be made by the individuals, having exhausted all reasonable attempts to resolve the problems. Some believe that the only legitimate grounds for divorce is adultery, but this is an error.
The marriage between a man and a woman is symbolic of the marriage between Christ and the church. The book of Hosea is devoted to describing this relationship. Hosea was required to marry a prostitute and then when she went off with other men, go after her, bring her back and forgive her. Time and again. Just the way God has done with first the children of Israel, then the church, and also with individual Christians. Whilst most of these biblical examples are written in the masculine, readers should understand that principles apply equally to both sexes. This is easily established in scripture.
The main thing to understand is the need for salvation. Just as a Christian experience involves disobedience, confession, forgiveness, tolerance and longsuffering on the part of Christ with us, so too does the relationship between a man and woman if a happy union is to be made. Christ will never divorce anyone unless they absolutely refuse to enter into a relationship with Him. Those who refuse will one day face ‘divorce’ in the lake of fire at the judgement. If any reader needs confession and forgiveness, and their marriage relationship with Christ fixed up, answer ‘The Savior’s Call’ in this newsletter.
I feel that divorces are justified only if there’s some infidelity and God does put marriages together but there’s free will. Temptation of the flesh is weak and so many marriages ends up in divorces because of the wrong choices that a man or woman makes. God hates divorces/wrongdoing.
Also God says, “Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, whoremonger/adulters he will judge”, Do not committ adultery and “Do not covet”, in other words don’t desires someone else husband or wife because of your sinful desires you cause break-up of a marriage, home and family. Peoples that does this can’t think that they are going to prosper.
If a marriage is performed in the presence of the Lord in a church by a man of God it’s most definitely a marriage from God. Annulments are condoned in the Catholic religion under certain circumstances, but the Lord hates divorce. He would have us pray for a bad marriage that one of our children are in to become a Godly marriage. To turn their hard hearts into soft ones and become united as one in heart instead of praying for divorce or escape. Matthew 19:4-9 says. AT The beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
“WHY” they asked “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way in the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 1Corinthians 7:10-11 says To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord), a wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. MAY ALL BE BLESSED!
You would have to say yes wouldn’t you?” A man leaves his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife.”
I believe that the Lord has a plan for all of us when it comes to marriage or anything else. Being “TRICKED” into marrying someone is not what God would want. To me that is being deceitful (Satan). I don’t think He would frown upon you if you chose to get divorced do to the fact that it was not part of “HIS PLAN.”
Surely, all marriages are NOT from God. To everything good and noble and pure there is a counterfeit; so it is true also with potential mates. Satan would love to attack us in this area and what better way than to convince someone an ungodly or abusive person is God’s perfect choice for us? Knowing what a liar and deceiver the enemy is, God provided us with some clues to see IF it is His choice for us.
1. We are not to be unequally yoked. Is this person saved? I do not mean have they given lip service I mean what is the fruit in their lives? The Word says a good tree can not bear bad fruit and a bad tree can not bear good fruit.
2. Does the meeting of this person and consequent courtship agree with the Word or are there problems already?
3. The Lord calls us His children. Does the potential mate treat us like we are the children of God?
4. Do you and this person pray together and ask God His will? These will do an initial weed-out to see if God is in this relationship or not BEFORE vows are said. The Lord also made provision for those who have convinced themselves that it was God’s will when it was really self will. The provision I am speaking about is where He speaks of being unequally yoked and says that a wife should remain with her husband if he wishes to dwell with her (him being or proving himself a non-believer and she a believer) but IF he wants to leave, let him go, she is not bound to him. What a gracious God we serve.
Are all marriages from God? NO! The institute of marriage is from God. One can make a mistake and marry the wrong person? Some people should not marry under any circumstances. Is that grounds for divorce? That is a question for prayer by the person most affected. Can someone marry for the wrong reasons? Absolutely! Should one pray for another’s marriage to dissolve? NO! Pray that God will prefect that which concerns the person/relationship. The rules the Bible lays down have more to do with remarriage that with staying in a bad marriage.
When I first became serious about serving the Lord, I was coming out of a brutal marriage. Of course some well meaning Christian sister, came us to me to tell me she was going to “pray my marriage back together!” I think she was a little surprised when I ask her to first be willing to cut her own throat if I were killed or injured in the “marriage” she wanted for me! Remember, I was a babe in Christ at the time! I believe that a good marriage is one of the greatest gifts that God can give. I am also painfully aware that a bad one can be one of the worst experiences known to man. A marriage is between the two people involved. One can pray for: God’s will in the marriage, The safety of the parties involved, For the children to learn the “right” lesson from what they see and experience. This was a very complex question. Thanks for asking. JMHO,
Hello Everyone, In regards to the questions on marriages that were brought about through spells and such…I feel that any relationship that does not have the blessing of the Lord is doomed. Just look at marriages in Hollywood. People divorce their spouses to marry another or live with their partner before taking the leap and often have children without marriage. The tabloids are loaded with stories of these relationships floundering in just a short amount of time. GOD WAS NOT INVITED INTO THESE RELATIONSHIPS.
People just did what was fun or easy for them at the time without regard of God’s laws on marriage. If every relationship was taken to God in prayer not oracles, tarot readers and such the heartache that could be spared! God knows who and what we need and when we need them. I don’t know if these spells really work but if they do the are of the Devil not God and therefore God is the victor. In such a case I would advise God to be invited in even if you never extended the invitation before He will be happy to accept it. Pray for divine intervention and He will show you what He wants. He can bring love, peace and happiness where it never existed before. Please remember to always pray for the salvation of others. Pray that God’s divine will be in one another’s lives. If a marriage or relationship is a bad one ask that God enter the lives and touch all those concerned. Actually that maybe a good request anyway! Now stand back and prepare for a miracle it will happen it time! May God Bless all of you.
In His Love,