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What Does the Bible Say About … BRINGING UP CHILDREN?

Is child training important?

Let us answer these questions through a series of questions whose answer will be found in the Holy Scriptures.

1. What is the value of early attention to child training?

Proverbs 22:6: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

2. What does God expect from parents as they raise children?

Parents must be godly examples in words and actions.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

God expects parents to be patient.

Colossians 3:21:

“Fathers, don’t scold your children so much that they become discouraged and quit trying.”

3. What does God expect of a mother?

Proverbs 31:26:

“When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says.”

4. Is discipline important?

Discipline is an expression of parental love.

Proverbs 13:24: “If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don’t love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him.”

Kind, firm correction helps children learn.

Proverbs 29:15:

“Scolding and spanking a child helps him to learn. Left to himself, he brings shame to his mother.”

The purpose of discipline is to help the children mature, not to anger them.

Ephesians 6:4:

“And now a word to you parents. Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord Himself approves, with suggestions and godly advice.”

5. What response does God expect from children?

Ephesians 6:1:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Rob Chaffart


Thank God for what He is doing doing in this end time.

This question is relevant for every Christian home. It is equally good for as many as would embrace the Lord in the course of this message.

There cannot be a child without a home. Whosesoever God has visited with this blessing, there is bound to power for the parents to train the child in a particular order to glorify His name, the community in which the child lives. It is a common saying that children are leaders of tomorrow.

Adequate training of a child guarantees what tomorrow will offer us as we live our lives and leave behind us a legacy – Proverb 20:6

Below as some biblical reasons why children must be trained:

Ephesians 6:1 -4 “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth”

There is no other person that can help train a child in the way of the Lord. The Christian parents especially have a duty towards their children. If children are to obey their parents, adequate training goes a long way for it to be possible. There is an adage in Africa setting that says, “The child that is not trained will dispose the property or legacy of his parents”

This, therefore, make is mandatory for parents to train their children. It is more blessed if children are taught the way of the Lord. Let them know the Jesus as personal Lord and Saviour of their lives. Train your children in prayer and bible study.

Joel 1:1-3 “Hear this, you elders, listen, all who live in the land. Has anything like this ever happened in your days or in the days of your forefathers, tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children and their children to the next generation.”

What is it that should be spread? It is the good news. Let there be an atmosphere in your home where you can share bible stories testimonies of answer to prayers. Present to your children the love of God in every area.

This might be difficult for you to do if you do not know the Lord. How can you sing the Lord song in a strange land? It is important for you to be born of the Spirit. Be parents that have Jesus as the foundation. Settle your misunderstanding at the bedroom. Not in the presence of your children.

You may not be helping them. Avoid using abusive languages against yourselves in the presence of your children. Endeavour to appreciate each other as couples, exchange pleasantries. Practice what you teach these children by the way you relate to yourselves as couples. Then, you will be able to train your children.

Spiritual Qualifications

One of the spiritual qualifications of elders in the living church is the ability of that leader to be able to train his child(ren) in Godly way. See what this has to say:

I Timothy 3:1-5 “Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be ale reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s children)

This is challenge to all of us. It is a challenge primarily for parents to train their child in the way of the Lord. I want to submit that training children is an obligation that parents owed the Lord and the state to which one belongs. Unfortunately in Africa today, we leave our children for others to train. Training should cover every facet of lives i.e. Spiritual, Domestic, Mannerism, Discipline are some of the things that must be included in our training. We should not leave discipline (training) for teachers of our children. Some teachers do not know God. We are primarily obligated to train them.

Training of children guarantees good leadership:

The training that Josiah the King received granted him success. The training that Samuel received made him a success as a prophet in Israel. Even our Lord Jesus was trained and well taken care of by his earthly parents when he was a child.

Conclusively Isaiah 54:13 says “All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace”. That is it. When you would have succeeded to train your children in the way of the Lord, you will enjoy the peace of God that passes all understanding. The peace will spread from one generation to the other. When this happens you have affected your generation for the glory of our God.


Rev Debo Adeyemo


Since this is a Christian ministry, I will assume this question refers to the Christian development of children and methods to be used in bringing them up correctly. When I was in college more than half a lifetime ago, I learned about a Greek philosopher, whose name I can no longer remember, who had profound ideas on how to raise children. Children should not be punished, because it might brutalize them, or ruin their creativity. There were a number of other aspects to his theory along these lines, somewhat similar to the more ‘advanced’ ideas on raising children in today’s society. He practiced this theory on his own son, who, unfortunately, became a murderer and was executed by the civil authorities. In this study I will deal with firstly, discipline and secondly, training.

As an experienced parent who, together with my wife, has raised 5 of my own children to adulthood, well, not quite, the youngest is still 17, and given accommodation and guidance to several other troubled teens, I can say that there are just two things one has to deal with throughout the exercise. (My opinion only ….) I believe that if a parent can overcome disobedience and selfishness, the rest will fall into place. Of these, disobedience is the chief enemy.

This is not surprising since the only sin man has ever committed is ‘disobedience’. Do you believe that? Let us define ‘sin’.

1John 3:4-AV Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.

Now we know full well what will happen to those who sin and do not repent, they will be punished according to the law that they broke. This applies in our earthly life as well as spiritual. Here, we will be fined or put in jail for a term or perhaps executed depending on the laws of our country. On the day of judgement unrepentant law breakers will be executed by God in ‘hell’ read ‘lake of fire’ read ‘second death’. These topics have been studied and responses can be viewed on the site portrayed at the top of this newsletter.

If we want our children to avoid earthly or Heavenly punishment, we have to make them to understand that disobedience results in punishment. And for the message to sink in it has to hurt. Let us look now at what the bible guidelines give us.

Proverbs 13:24-AV He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 19:18-AV Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 22:15-AV Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-AV Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Proverbs 23:14-AV Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 29:15-AV The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.

It is clear from these texts that the method to be used is the ‘rod’, actually I preferred to use a leather strap on the ‘seat of learning’ as we referred to it. The effect is the same. In the society I live in and perhaps many of the readers, beating a child can get you in trouble with the law. This is because some parents have made a practice of taking their anger out on children and in some cases beaten them to death. It is important to understand that the discipline referred to in scripture is administered in love, not anger, which is of the ‘dark side’.

This type of punishment is NOT child abuse as we understand that term, but an important and necessary part of parental duties. Remember, just as God loves the sinner but hates the sin (disobedience), so too we must love our children but hate the disobedience. It is disobedience we must punish. Typically, after a ‘wopping’ my children would go off to their rooms to cry for a while and then would come out meekly, saying they were sorry, and obviously looking for reassurance that I did not hate them. We would then have a cuddle and perhaps a quiet word about ‘not doing it again’. This is what I understand by discipline administered with love. Now let us examine the matter of training from a teaching viewpoint.

Deuteronomy 4:9-AV Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ sons;

Deuteronomy 6:7-AV And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine

house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Speaking here of the miracles seen in the desert on the exodus from Egypt.

Psalms 78:5-AV For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children:

Isaiah 28:9-AV Whom shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? [them that are] weaned from the milk, [and] drawn from the breasts.

Isaiah 28:10-AV For precept [must be] upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, [and] there a little:

Actually these verses are also used in instruction in how to study one’s bible. You look at a topic from several different angles as expressed by several different writers. There is less chance that way of attributing an incorrect meaning to a verse taken out of context.

John 21:15-AV So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, [son] of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.

Proverbs 22:6-AV Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The importance of the first six years of a child’s life cannot be overestimated. It is during those years that the foundation is laid for a child’s personality, language ability, ethics, morality, and value systems. This last verse is a comfort to many parents, myself included, who have had a child go astray. It promises that the child will remember early training when mature. It gives us hope that they will come back. I include a quotation from John Gill here by way of a discussion on this verse:

Ver. 6. “Train up a child in the way he should go”, &c.] As Abraham trained up his children, and those born in his house, in the way of the Lord, in the paths of justice and judgment; which are the ways in which they should go, and which will be to their profit and advantage; see “#Ge 14:14 18:19”; and which is the duty of parents and masters in all ages, and under the present Gospel dispensation, even to bring such who are under their care in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, “#Eph 6:4”; by praying with them and for them, by bringing them under the means of grace, the ministry of the word, by instructing them in the principles of religion, teaching them their duty to God and man, and setting them good examples of a holy life and conversation; and this is to be done according to their capacity, and as they are able to understand and receive the instructions given them: “according to the mouth of his way” {s}, as it may be literally rendered; as soon as he is able to speak or go, even from his infancy; or as children are fed by little bits, or a little at a time, as their mouths can receive it;

“and when he is old he will not depart from it”; not easily, nor ordinarily; there are exceptions to this observation; but generally, where there is a good education, the impressions of it do not easily wear off, nor do men ordinarily forsake a good way they have been brought up in {t}; and, however, when, being come to years of maturity and understanding, their hearts are seasoned with the grace of God, they are then enabled to put that in practice which before they had only in theory, and so continue in the paths of truth and holiness.

{s} ^wkrd yp le^ “super os viae suae”, Montanus; “ad os viae ejus”, Schultens.

{t} “Quo semel est imbuta recens servabit odorem testa diu”, Horat. L. 1. Ep. 2. V. 69.

Babies are extremely selfish creatures. Of necessity, I suppose, their only thoughts are for themselves. Either they want food, comfort, company, a nappy change, relief from pain, or just a bit of attention, and they want it NOW! They will cry impatiently and incessantly until their needs are met. There seems to be a period before the teens when you think you are getting ahead and they actually seem to be considering others and returning affection other than in order to get something. Then when the teens are upon them, self reasserts in a big way and it is all about ‘me’ again. I am convinced that the ability to sacrifice one self for others is not something that can be taught by example or any other way. It is only achieved by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit who changes the selfish human nature to the unselfish Christ like nature.

Exposing our children to the Gospel message throughout their childhood years and setting a good parental example, coupled with adequate discipline, gives them the best chance they will get. There are no real assurances however, they still have a God given right to exercise their own choice.

Concerning discipline I have one more comment. I know there are a lot of other methods being touted by ‘experts’ these days and civil laws of child abuse are making it more difficult to use the ‘old fashioned’ method. Deprivation of pleasures and privileges, being sent to one’s room etc. may have a place, but the method ordained by God will not be improved upon. He made us, He understands better than anyone, the nature of sin and what is required to defeat it. To keep one’s child from hell, one must use the ‘rod’, vigorously, but with love, not anger.

May God add to us a better understanding of his word regarding this topic.

Lance Wearmouth


Yes child training is important, children are what they learn, if we didn’t train them what would they know. Nothing if we hadn’t been trained what would we know nothing my answer is : yes.



Yes I do think child raising is very important. If we do not who will?