Should a woman listen to her husband when he does not give her money for tithing?

One has to do with submission to your husband and the other paying tithe, which is one of the prerequisite for blessings as contained in Scriptures. It is also important for us to look at the provision of the scripture in marriage relationship as it affects the wife – being a member of that union.

Before now there has been questions and answers on tithe as well as marriage. If you go to our web on past question and answers you will find much that has been discussed.

Whereas the Bible says in Ephesians 5:22-25

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

There is an injunction here that you should submit to your husband in everything even when you are not given money to tithe.

I Peter 3:1-2 “Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives”.

When you submit to your husbands, the scriptures is saying that you stand the advantage of winning him to the Lord because you will be ministering through your behaviors which is more powerful than preaching sometimes. Your actions speak more loudly than your voice!

In Malachi 3:6-10 – “I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty. “But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’ “Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. “In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse – the whole nation of you – because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”

The above is what God required of us to do if we want to be blessed. We must tithe every income that comes in to us. Even if it is a gift, you should tithe it. When you do, you will receive the blessings.

You should not however, confuse your husband’s obligation to take care of you. You should obey him in everything. If he has refused to give you money for tithing, that should not cause problems

Your husband has every obligation towards you. To take care of us physically, spiritually and financially. If you don’t have any work of your own, you are not obligated to tithe. If he should give you money for tithing, what is the basis for the tithe?. Is it 10% of your joint income? How do you calculate it? Could be the 10% of your allowance? Only you can answer the question. As contained in scripture, you tithe 10% of your income. You don’t collect tithe to pay. It is not done in compulsion. Tithing is done in fulfillment of scripture and when done properly, you have the blessings attached to it.

Above all, you should think of where you will spend you eternity. Jesus came so that you may have life and that you have this life in abundance. When you obey Jesus and you allow him to come into your heart, it will not be difficult for you to obey your husband. The reason why you are having difficulty understanding yourselves even in tithing could be because there is not clear understanding of who Jesus is in your lives. If you can take the step of faith today, Jesus will accept you. Look at His invitation to you:

“Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End”. The Spirit and the bride say, “Com”! And let him to hears say, “Come”!. Whosoever is thirsty, let him come, and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life. Revelation 22:12, 17.

Jesus loves you!

Rev Debo Adeyemo, ppraise@skannet.com

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In Christian marriage, the husband is to love his wife as Christ Jesus loves the Church (a sacrificial love). His love should be such that he would want the best for her; he would want to care for and protect his wife just as he cares for and protects himself. And wives are to respect their husbands and willfully submit to his leadership in the marriage as long as what he asks of her does not compromise her Christian morality or loyalty to Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 5:22-33). The same would be true of a Christian wife who is married to a non Christian. She is to submit to his leadership as long as what he asks of her does not compromise her Christian morality or loyalty to Christ Jesus.

If the question,” Should a woman listen to her husband when he does not give her money for tithing?” is meant to be interpreted, “Should a woman give up submitting to the leadership of her husband in the marriage due to the fact that he will not allow her to give a tenth of the family’s income to the ongoing ministries of the church?” the answer is no. If, however, the question is to be interpreted, “Should a woman listen to her husband and not give a tenth of the family’s income to the ongoing ministries of the church when he has asked her not to do so? the answer is yes. Finally, “If a woman is asked by her husband not to give anything to the ongoing ministries of the church (even out of her own personal money, money which is not a part of the family’s money, and for no other reason other than he just doesn’t want to give to the church), then it would seem right to me that she has the right to give of her own personal money as she sees fit. God knows her heart and it is He who has asked her to submit to the leadership of her husband in the marriage.

Jim Futral http://www.biblepath.com (Answers to questions from a Biblical perspective).

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According to the Bible, one should give willingly. God will not accept anything if it’s not given freely. You should not force anyone to give. One should respect their husband’s wishes. However, if possible, I believe you should give according to what you have no matter how small that may be; as long as it is from the heart. You should always listen to what God says; everybody else comes after. I believe the following texts are great guidelines when it comes to giving.

God gave us the ultimate example for giving. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others.They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything–all she had to live on.” Mark 12: 41-44

For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich. 2 cor 8:9

Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. Malachi 3:8-10

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver. 2 cor 9:7

For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. 2 cor 8:12

Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD thy God which he hath given thee. Deuteronomy 16:17

Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood. Acts 20:28

Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give. Matthew 10:8

I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35

Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 1 Tim 6:17-19

And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? Luke 12:15-20

Lastly, He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10:36-38

May God richly bless you all!

Yvonne Goldman <yagoldman@tecoenergy.com>

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If a persons giving is affected in any way by ANYONE and this includes a husband, then the person has never come to terms with a clear understanding of tithing under the New Testament Law. Tithing is worshiping the Lord. It is private between you and the Lord. The Lord’s Church is a place of love and integrity, with commitment and worship, WITHOUT conditions. Now of course this day and age times are very tough and some people are living on the edge barely able to keep a roof over their heads. The Lord doesn’t want us to get ourselves in trouble financially. We must be willing and and happy to give. If the husband doesn’t give a woman any money for tithing, she can give what she possibly can of her own.

Also, she can give of herself. Her time and help given to others is a form of giving. This all comes down to the Lord knows what is in our hearts and whether we are trying to do the right thing in our lives. He will steer us correctly and show us what we need to do in order to follow His will and direction. Tithing should be complete and joyful giving. It is not a matter of how much we have, but how much we trust the Lord in our financial stewardship to meet our needs. 2Corinthians 9:7 says. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Love DeeDee

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I do believe that a wife should be submissive to her husband regardless of whether he gives tithe money or not. The tithe on the money he earns is between him and God. If she is working, and he permits it, she is responsible to tithe her own earnings. There are husbands who are so controlling that they will not even permit their wife to tithe her own earnings. If that is the case, I feel that the wife must be submissive to her husband and abide by his wishes. God will understand.

Cheri Truskey

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Yes, if only the woman is also working and earning money as her husband and no if the woman is not working and depending on the man for everything, to be precise they are already one, the man can do the tithing.

James

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There are really two answers to this question on tithing. First, Tithes are to be paid on YOUR increase (income) so if the woman is a stay at home wife who has no independent income she is exempt from tithing unless her husband agrees.

Second, going back to the Old Testament law A wife’s vow (by extension– Tithes) could be voided by her husband when he first heard it. In the case of an unmarried woman her father had the same power to void her vows. This is set forth in the 30th chapter of Deuteronomy.

P.S. There was one thing I did not touch on. I believe the lady who wrote asked about being obedient to her husband if he wouldn’t give her money for tithes. In our society today we stress the equality of the sexes so much that we forget that God (thru Peter) calls the woman the weaker vessel and commands that a man treat his wife with the utmost gentleness and love. At the same time He orders the wife to give due reverence to the husband as the head of the home. Without getting into this too deep let me say if those two rules were followed most domestic discord could be avoided. Yet, if one does not follow this teaching it does not exempt the other .

Hope this helps, Bill

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This question seems foreign to me. I think the question is too short to be properly understood!

We are all called to submit to one another. We are all called to serve one another. Any husband who loves his wife as Christ loves the church shows his wife he can be trusted as a leader. Many people make too little money to tithe. These are the people the tithes of the rich should go to help, if the church is Christ-like!

Todd Shilt

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The question appears to be pertaining to a woman that does not work outside of the home. No, she can’t tithe what is not given her. Even our dear Lord Jesus would not force anyone to give against one’s will. However, I would tithe what he would give me for groceries or for just spending money.

I have pondered this question for years and have asked several ministers. Doesn’t seem to be a real clear answer. I know in my case, I work and I tithed from my paycheck. My husband did not like it and many times asked/told me to quit. I refused stating that I feared God more than I did man and how could I ask God to help in finances if I were robbing from Him? He has seen through a very trying time with the IRS on a mistake on his income how much God does have the say so over one’s finances. He tithes now.

So, I say, the woman should tithe on any monies she receives, and let the Holy Spirit work on the non-tithing husband.

Debra Medley